No one ever hold men accountable for how they mistreat women. Specifically Im talking about the mistreatment of Black women. We protect and honor men, while disregarding our own mental health issues to discuss theirs. Rather it is discussing black male racial identity, masculinity, suicidality, or stigma. Black women aren’t given a seat at the table when discussing their own emotions and feelings. Especially when those emotions and feelings of uselessness was caused by their partners.
“The most un-protected person in America is the black woman. The most neglected person in America, is the black woman” -Malcolm X
This phenomenon may be due to internalizing and perceiving the Black woman as being able to handle and endure anything put against her. In research this is often cited as being The Strong Black Woman stereotype. If she expresses her dissatisfaction she is often scene as being overly emotional, weak, or crazy. Especially when expressing herself after a failed relationship, cheating allegations, blatant disrespect, abuse, and sometimes rape.
The blame is is often placed on the woman. She is held accountable by men and women for not dating smarter. She is chastised for sobbing.. We often tell our girlfriends to get over their situations and to let it go. Not for once considering the emotional and spiritual impact a man is capable of doing.
Personally I have noticed a generational trend;
accepting and enduring disrespect from men is normalized as being apart of the Black woman experience. Black love
is standing by your partner regardless of the situation because thats what our grandmother did, and their grandmother, and the one before that. but today is a new day. As long as I am alive, I will never neglect discussing my own feelings and emotions, even if it exposes the harsh reality of what women sometimes go through with men……
hold men accountable for their actions… do not believe the excuse that their behavior should be tolerated because its “something all men do”. do not settle for cheating, physical abuse, verbal abuse, emotional abuse, neglect, rape, and homicidal threats ….and you are not weak for challenging male privilege
“i cudnt stand being sorry & colored at the same time. its so redundant in the modern world. i dont know anymore how to avoid my own face wet wit tears, cuz i had convinced myself colored girls has no right to sorrow” – Lady in Orange